What about the case where someone has lost something and is actively trying to recover what was lost? When that person asks for a little more time or a little more patience or a little more understanding that his fucking shoulder still fucking hurts...is he asking for too much? Is he? Should he lie, pretend that nothing is wrong and try to ingratiate the people around him?
Or what about when he comes up short when attempting something that before surgery he could have done with no issues at all? When he has to step away and clear his mind and deal with physical pain that feels like the days right after surgery, is it OK for people to look at him as if he's being a pussy and perhaps even angrily approach him to reprimand his decision to step away, gather his thoughts, and rest? Is it OK to judge that person because he's done something that interfered with your plans?
......
Look, just because I appear to be 100%, the reality is that I'm not even close to 100%. Yet, because there's the visual perception of me being OK, sometimes people feel justified in criticizing or judging me when I can't do something, when I have to make a decision to stop doing something because I'm hurting. As if somehow I'm making an excuse to stop in the middle of something enjoyable in order to wallow in self pity.
Understand that while I am indeed on the mend, I am not whole. I still hurt both mentally and physically. Maybe you think I should be further along than I am or that I should just suck it up and act as if nothing is wrong?
Oh, I'll get over the harsh words and dirty looks. I'll even forgive. No sense carrying around the baggage of animosity, right? But will I forget?
Not anytime soon.
